FAIR ENOUGH ?
yeahh .. my face .. :p
lol .. lingli say my face too fair until like ghost .. T_T
walau .. so bad hor ?
tsk tsk . but i don't know why i prefer my face to be fair .
cause i don't like tan tan faces ..
apply cosmetics would be a problem and ..
i don't know why .. tan faces can look very dirty after they perspire ..
no offense to other races .. not being racist here uh..
alright .. they i say look like ghost might be because ..
a ) i did not apply enough lip gloss .?
b ) i never wear fake eye lashes .
fake eye lashes make people look sharper . I KNOW !!
maybe i should go and buy more to make myself look less sleepy and weak .
last time i put dark eye make up they say i ah lian ..
now i stop putting eye make up .. people say i look like ghost ! )):
lol .. okay okay ..





RE:: karen : " cherlyn .. don't step 一个.."

grrrrrrrrrr ..
why can't just ... shut up ?!
shut up is the best English word . yes . shut up ..
damn am i attracting alot of attention ?
why are there always people who like to gossip about me ?
yah lah .. in front of me por me like imma queen . behind .. you start your concert .
j dice .
pretend all you want . cause i don't really care what you see .
i believe people have eyes . they will only believe what they see and not what you say .
firstly ..
I am not "dao" or ignorant at all .
I am very friendly . in fact since when was i ignorant ?
I'm a very loud person . what ever i do is very obvious .
never once did i gossip-ed back behind you . or what so ever .
so why come and irritate me like a blister ?
yes , I was a ah lian . yes i was a very bad person . yes i offended alot of people before .
yes yes yes . but so what ?
i already stopped and I'm no longer my that person in my past ..
I never hurt you before .. or what so ever .
so what's wrong with you ?
complaining to other people won't work right ?
why can't you tell in face instead ?
i heard whatever you said .
i even stood up for you when some one else told me that what you've been telling behind my back.
Never in any minute i believe what that fella said .
but why .. why did you prove me wrong ..?
i'ld rather not to hear anything . but .. why did you betrayed me ?
you said to others that whatever I've done for you are all FAKE .
I'm just acting all along and I'm 假 善良。。
say I'm just doing everything out of guilt for my past ..
say what I have all kinds of motives etc ..
you even said that you're very afraid to have me such a cunning friend in your life in the end..
say that you're super suay etc ...
listening everything you're saying , inside the ladies' cubicle weeping quietly .
do you know how sucky the feeling is ?



I did not do anything out of guilt for you before .
because , i have never do anything bad to you before .
I'm already saved . I'm already free from sin .
I'm not guilty of anything . i may feel sorry . but i will never do anything out of guilt .
so why should i be guilty and do so many things for you ?
who was there when you needed money .
who was there to accompany when you have no where to go .
who was there to stand up for you when other people tried to gossip about you ?
I was the one there to help you when everyone left you.
I was there to wipe your tears when other people bullied you .


I...
just feel so heartbrokened now ..
I don't have any motives.. I've always treated you as my friend ..
I'm not faking anything ...
I'm not .......
My heart was always sincere . but why did everything end up like that ..
why is it over like that ..




I cried and cried over it ..
I kept on reflecting myself in the mirror ..
What have i done to deserve all these .
I was very mad and angry when i heard everything ..
but I look at myself in the mirror ..
I thought ..I have no right to be angry at all ..
totally no right to be .. but sad to have a failed friendship .
I'm speechless when you can still chat happily with me over the phone ..
like nothing happened ..


Karen , since you have no trust in me at all and you hate me so much ..
I really have nothing to say .
I don't mind you reading all these , cause I know what my instinct is telling me .
Is that , we can't be friends anymore .
Yes i will forgive you .
But I guess It'll be really hard for me to treat you like how I've always treated you in the past .
By all means , there'll be a scar . Between us there'll always be a gap .
after everything happened , I really think it's a bad idea for us to meet up to talk or whatever .
I think it's useless . & there isn't a need to explain anything further .
In fact I'm afraid my hands will lose control and give you a tight slap on your face .
so . I think we'll stop being friends and i hope you will stop passing all those false rumours about me to my friends .
cause they find you irritating and they don't like you .
If they've stop contacting you , It's not from me .
but that's what you've gained from them.







alright . this entry is the most ugliest entry i ever wrote with your name in it .
so now . get the hell out of my sight .





stopping my pen now.
calls are coming in .
bye .