1st OCTOBER 2007 , HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY !
to who ever still think that they're a child .
can ask m&ns from me when you see me (x
i didnt went out with my friends for study on sunday .
home studied , also thought that mom will come back .
wanted to gave her some surprise .
i waited till mid night .
she not yet home .
then i heard from my sis that she'll be back on monday .
which is today .
today , my flu and sore throat got even worsen .
i cant let myself drink cough syrup or flu medicine .
the pills will make me sleep the whole day .
and i'll have mood swings after drinking them .
i dont know why .
i used up 2 packets of tissue paper for my science and chinese paper today .
heng i know how to use them up wisely .
been going for toilet breaks to clear my throat .
kept vomiting .
the papers i took today were alright .
kinda fed up to found out that people around me were aiming for my answers .
they copy with their big round eyes .
like dont even know my presence at all .
seriously . its so unfair .
third day like me and huihui havent talk already .
i dont know why . nothing happen between the two of us .
just outta sudden . i can see her avoiding me .
i tried to ask her whats the matter , she only reply nothing ..
mei you ah , mei you ah . - continuously .
tried to catch topic with her ..
she dont even reply more than 5 words .
she wont ask me to join her for recess .
never wait or ask me to walk together home anymore .
recently she just avoided me like 180 degrees .
dont wanna let her feel irritated about me .
i leave her alone .
because i tried my best to talk to her .
i say i tried means i really tried .
i came home . walk kinno again cause i know he feel very sian also .
walk him around the park .
bathed him and clean the house .
i mean the whole house again .
imagine carrying your steamy head cleaning and clearing your house .
i even prepared some lil stuffs for my mom .
cause i've like been doing a d.i.y bear call meh meh .
i've been redo-ing and redo-ing .
till its a nice meh meh now .
i made that and made a lil card for her .
then still got some silly stuffs shall not be mention .
i went for a short nap after my studies and practicing for math and english .
and you know what ?
my mom reached home already .
i woke up . i didnt even know .
i thought it was ah da trying to play tricks to me behind my door .
i came into the room where i use my com .
acting like i dont know theres people out there .
then i waited and waited for ah da to come out .
he dint .
so keep calling ah da name .
untill my sis on msn told me that mom reach s'pore already .
i cant believe . so go check .
saw her called mom !
then she give me one kind of eyes like i owe her a hundred million dollars .
i went to the living room stare at the table .
my stuffs for her were gone .
a feeling of excited-ness came by ...
then i was shy to ask her , went to the toilet awhile ..
then come out saw the rubbish bin outside my toilet contains what i had for her .
fire forming outta my nose .
i thought like , maybe she dont like the meh meh because its too childish ?
so i hack care thinking like buy her a dinner maybe will be better .
but deep down was kind of sad when she throw away them .
haais , never mention about it ..
so i coughed and coughed like thinking she'll even talk to me about it .
or even show me any care or concern .
or maybe even question me about how im doing with my exams ..
she dint .
she came up to me raised her voice at me and ask me why the sofa is so dirty .
i went to take look .
and started cleaning up .
its kinno lorrs , he vomited .
so i explain to her .
then she complained like why i didnt take care of him and clean up the mess earlier on .
so i explain to her again like im sleeping i just wake up .
and i kept saying sorry .
but still her face .. haaais .
then she ask me why is labush's fish tank still at the living room .
i didnt know where to place it and im like waiting for her to get me a new fish .
then she kept scolding and scolding .
i kept quiet until im like so hot .
i talkback to her ..
i know its wrong but i really cant control myself inside .
having the feeling like i cant describe it .
i complained out how i felt all these days .
just be it if she already give up on me this daughter of hers .
i called her the second day when she's at m'sia .
sis stop thinking its like what you've ask me to do kays .
i already have been planning to call her and had my script prepared .
lols ,
i call her . she also bo chup . so i ask sis to buy my stuffs for me over there .
3rd day fourth day cant reach her .
so gave up and let her enjoy her days there .
and this whole week , she didnt even gave me a call or what so ever .
left me alone in singapore like as if im just a dumb that came out different from the baby she delivered outta her womb after my sister .
like as if i did something wrong like i killed her siblings or the president .
i mean , she really dont care .
i apologise to her a more then ten 10 times like explaining to her , im really sick i'll be slower .
its just a dirty sofa like how my dog did !
its not me . its not like its been left there like the whole week .
its fresh ! i mean , im already like cleaning it already !
i went back to my room , cried like as if imma another NKF patient's mother .
and kept crying .
crying to god .
then start praising god and felt more like it like life .
haaas , went for a bathe and felt better .
i'll face it through . face it through what ever thats blocking along my way .
tell you what , i wont stop praising God .
:D im feeling really better .
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