Friday, August 7, 2009

The Back Crew Hero .




Sometimes .. I feel like a lil worm .. like this ..
I'm kinda inspired by the picture above . Are you ?



Today , I went for job hunting with huihui :D .
hui hui is awesome ,
she cheered me up several times when she see me got rejected or she can sense that I feel discouraged ..
I've never had a good feeling about finding a job or having a job all along . hopeless .
Upon the stress I had from my mommy etc .. I was totally upset regardless I'm at home , or outside in the city .
I feel totally small , and useless ..
And ...


Huihui's a cheering machine . She almost filled me up with confidence over and over again .
I feel so secure when I'm with her . She's like a lucky star . A good friend :D

Loves her !
♥ ♥ ♥



Finally gotta feeling to blog how I really feel.
I really feel very very glad .

God never fail to put wonderful people in my life .


God is good all the time . All the time , God is good .



During today's Cgm ..
Although it felt a lil rushy , messy .. The presence of God is still good .
In fact , God spoke to me during worship .

God totally appeared to me like a papa .
Showing me lotsa scenes about this wonderful servant of God .
A lady with full of dreams and vision ..
Showing her love and service around the people around her .
Staying positive , full of faith and on fire for God..
Encouraging the the weaker ones .

It then turned into a point that , she was trying really hard to put the smile on her face wherever she go .
She picked up a phone call . she broke down and cry . because she had to give up a big lot .
I don't know what it is .
Then a crowd came over , not on her side . She stood strong and continue to where she know she's gonna be .
Criticism came ..
But she continue to smile and said Amen .


God then show me ,
when she was alone in her secret place praying and seeking God alone .

Enjoying her quiet time .

and I'm shocked when the lady turned around .
God show me her face .
Her face was full with tears and compassion worshipping God ..
It turned out so familiar , that I took a zoom look again ..

And it was none other than .. my sister .



I was so shocked . stunned , and really speechless .


You guys must continue reading .


Because , all along I've been thinking that ..
I've always been the only one giving up things .
I've always been the only one losing out , to sacrifice .
The only one to feel lonely .

I'm so selfish .. to think that I'm the one that really suffered alot .
That actually , She went through much more !
How can I have the thinking that she'll be always strong .
How can I have the thinking that she also have her hard times outside alone ?
How can I have the thinking that the smile on her face actually fades ?

How could I ??

How could I not appreciate this sister that have looking after me , keeping me in her prayers ?
How much more could I expect from God .
without her , everything could be different .
I wouldn't have experience the realness of God so close ever before the first time !

All this mindsets hit me so hard in my heart and mind .


I couldn't stop speaking in tongues . I just want God to give her whatever she can't receive .


God then tied a peace purple ribbon over her neck .
And told her that she is free .




I felt so touched . And totally understand what God was trying to tell me .
I feel really really amazed by God .



I don't know where I had this courage from to post this entry .
I don't know how my sis will feel after reading this .
after all she reads my blog .


I'm really not speaky mushy kind of person .
I don't know how to show my appreciation some times .
That's why , some times I prefer to not say anything in case everything leads to a quarrel .

Our fellowship sometimes could be a total silence for a whole hour .

I feel bad about it .



And I wanna say a BIG Thank you to my beloved sister .
I wanna take back all the times when I made her utterly super upset .
& I want her to know , from the bottom of my heart that ..
Daddy God loves her , and I love her too .


Like the others ,
Jie , I'm so so so proud of you !


Jiayou !


ps // Thanks for borrowing me your ez-link card to go for cgm today .
you've done a big big help :D




Xoxo ,
Cher .

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