ive once thought that i'll no longer fall for another guy .
i once mistook admires and love .
i once walked the wrong path .
i once just once hide and avoid everyone accept him .
cause i thought he know me .
he understand me .
but i mentioned . i thought .
im confused and im troubled .
the only person i'll have in mind is only him .
i dont know what is happening to me .
yesterday woke me up .
like escaping from a nightmare .
ive never cried like how yesterday i did .
the fear the hopeless feeling ..
is like losing a whole part of yourself .
i dont know when ive got this illness .
i dont understand never in my life ive felt this way before .
i drank alot yesterday .
lost count how much i drank .
totally went outta mind .
and i even slapped jin wei .
why would i feel so upset .
why can i nolonger sleep without him .
his every sound tell me his mood .
and yesterday he sound really mad at me .
he scolded me .
and i dont give a fcuking care bout other people's word .
why does his words just hurt so much ?
the whole night ive been thinking and thinking .
my heart havent hurt so much ever since for so long .
the last felt was when my grandma left .
i wanted to meet him out .
meet him out to ask him . question him .
ask him who he is .
and who tought him magic .
he cast a spell on me . he made me up to this state .
i hate him .
i cant go anymore deeper .
i dont want .
im really afraid and i can no longer run this road again .
so i'll not and never meet him .
never .
im afraid . really afraid .