Today when I was packing my bag for the day as usual .
I always had to have these things in my bag for the day which are super heavy ..

1. mirror,comb.
2. hair kit tools.
3. working uniform
4. make up pouch
5. notebook
6. daily schedule
   
   And when I was folding my working uniform to put it in , i thought ,...
   how i wish i don't have to carry my heavy hairkit tools wherever i go .
   just simply working on my basics .
   I thought again , hey no . it's my dream isn't it ..
   why is it becoming sucha burden for me now ?
   Isn't that what I want ? Lotsa questions kept popping out
   
   
   
   
   I had this urge to not bring my hair kit totally man .
   but I thought again , hey no . I can't live without them .
   They're now my living tools already .

   
   
   
   Isn't life too tough ..?
   If I had to chose . so much .
   Right now , I'm loving God ,I'm lovin' my job . lovin' school , loving my church.
   And what else can I even complain ?
   Sometimes I do blame myself for pushing myself too hard .
   And neglect the people around me .
   Like A. J . Thank God , they're always helping me out when i can't manage after school cus i have to rush to work .
   they're always there to help me when i can't manage my models . like rinsing their coloured hair .
   I always have to rush off , and i don't have the time to wait for the hair colour being processed .
   They always help me to take care of my work etc , without any word.
   
   
   
   
   Today , while we're putting dye one sha's head .
   My head went blank . I was like in outta space thinking of fire fighters in space or whatever i guess .
   Perry gave us instructions on what he wanna do , what he don't wanna see .
   And When he ask me to do it . I went to do the things he don't wanna see ..
   Like . omg , cherlyn what the hell are you doing ??
   
   
   
   
   Ask me now , I don't know either .
   Last week worst .
   
   
   
   
   During work attatchment , I was curling a model's head .
   super longgggggg , more than 20 inches man .
   and it's artificial hair , all plastic-y and like elastic kind extention attatched.
   To-The-Hair.
   She claimed it's 100% real hair , I really doubt so .
   Cus , When my curling thong gets into it right , smokes kept coming out .
   And mind you , because it's not real hair I put the thong temperature to only 90 deg.
   and , it's burning the hair like as if it's cooking ! burns my fingers like mad.
   normal natural hair can take up to 180 deg. and hers were like .. wthhhhhh.. T_T
   when i feel like giving up . i was just drawing the 3rd section only !
   Like 6 more to go !!!
   WOAHHHHH, worst still , I burn't my fingers more .
   Not because of the irritating artificial hair .
   Cus , I took the wrong side of the thong!!!
   the heating part . instead of the handle ...
   Omg ...
   I dropped the thong on the tray .and started spraying setting hair spray on it .
   Woah , It was super hot! AS hot As my mom's hot pot cooking chicken soup kind .
   SOBS .. No more hu hu from mommy...
   Perry came to take over me when he sees me getting out of hand .
   and , same like me . he burned his hand handling the wrong side of the thong .
   he threw the thong on floor and shouted OUCH!
   Then he look at me with a face like . and said ..
   Now i know why your hands were shivering when doing the hair already .
   cherlyn , this kind of hair .. you must do qi gong one . look at me arrrh .. i do let you see ..
   i said ,, ORH.....
   hahahahahahahaha.
   he was sweating like mad . cus it was VIP room ..
   
   
   
   
   My life is too lucky to have people giving in to me .
   I'm really guilty .
   Upset .
   Cus , of my dream ..
   my mates , my colleagues have to give in to me so much .
   and , I seem to have nothing to say , except to accept their offers of help .
   I never asked from them , trust me . It's really their heart sincering wanting to help me .
   I thank them today .
   and one of them said..super touching ..
   " Cherlyn , please don't mention .. looking at you so chiong for your dream, just makes me wanna help you more . Please don't feel that you're alone or you owe us kay ? I'll be there for you ! "
   Woahhhh , The last time i hear this was super long ago liao ..
   wait , like don't have ley .
   
   
   
   I really feel super guilty .
   And I feel like Imma super selfish , if i really were to take them for granted .
   Ofcause I wont lahhh. But ..
   
   
   
   
   Right now ..
   There's really nothing much I can do . Except to accept .
   Sigh . This kinda feeling sucks . Like super selfish ..
   
   Sigh .
   
   
   
   
   
   The other day me , eve and hiroko san was talking @ OOosh bar.
   I asked hiroko san to give me a jap name .
   I requested for a name starting with L .
   And , she said something that sounds close to a vular word in hokk.
   and Eve really laughed out loud saying the the vulgar word over and over again.
   I was like .. Woahhh , laugh at me lahh .. it's not the bad word lorrr..
   sherry heard the conver at the counter. and told perry ..
   Then perry came and talk to me ..
   saying that I shouldn't have share dirty jokes at his place .
   I was like huh ?????
   I didn't share any joke or laugh ? hmmm, okay ........
   Then he said .. I know ! I went to scold Eve off already,...!
   (in an angry manner)
   I kept quiet . looked at him .
   he then moved on saying about class ..
   
   
   
   
   & Today , I heard news about Eve resigned ..
   I was so shocked ..?!
   I kept asking why..
   And he told me it's not regarding me . so don't needa ask ....
   
   
   
   
   
   Rahhhhh.
   I really don't wish to know if it's really because of me ..
   I really .....
   
   
   
   ): ): ):
   Am Very guilty ...
   
   
   
   
   Sighhhhh,,...
   
   
   
   
   
   Shakarabahaiiiiiiiiiiii.
   
   
   
   
   
   God , You raised me here .. I will not give up .
   you're the only reason for me now to continue . So strengthen me again!
   
   

Xoxo
Cherrrrr.