It's not easy being me .

Don't read my blog if you think it's all crap .
Again and again , I say . This is my blog . Not your entertainment .




This url won't change .
My blogging style won't change .



I've never wanted you guys to appreciate this blog or dairy of mine .







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Your words affect my every move in my life .
Because , you're play aye important role in my life to guide me in this walk .
But before you ever speak an advice , have you ever spare a thought for me ?



It's so easy for you to say ,
have you ever thought of your judgement over me is how serious ?
Saying of easy to wait for another opportunity .
How long more .Please , it's close to a year already
Staying at home for 5 days , can't find any doings for my body .

Collecting coins , like a beggar . Desperate to just do dwell in desired place .
Say nice , I have faith in God. just to convince myself that I really place him as my first priority ?

How have you seen me as ?
Being free of weekdays , escaping that saturday to go to church ?



In the end , you still ask me to look this episode in a bigger picture .



I want to get connected .
And your reply was all negative .
Who's doubting me .



The people around me, are sacrificing .
And how can I be even more selfish ?
To keep my foot and working hands out there when I have a good chance .
I have faith that my heart won't change .
But where are your trust with me ? Zero .

It's disappointing .

Cause , I thought , you knew me better ...

You've never taught me how . or any solutions to help this time.
But all choices and choices to want me to prove my heart for God .
Just by going to desired place .
Stressing me out , judging me . Is this all you can do ?


I can't face you to tell you all these .
But deep down , I really wanna have a big quarrel with you .

I wanna scream all out at your face .
Can I ?
Can we work things out ?







All alone here .
Buried with all these .



Have you ever thought of this ,
That will I be able to handle this all alone ?



You just said ..
What ever you do , I support you .



Is that even convincing ?



Why does everyone think that I can do this all by myself .


Sorry ,
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